"Candy is Dandy, but liquor is quicker." Willy Wonka

Sunday, December 19, 2004

The Introvert

According to personality tests, people (get this) have distinctly differing personalities.
Not only have we learned this startling fact from such tests, but they have enabled us to focus on specific personality types. One distinct difference between people is in the introvert, extrovert characteristic.

Extroverts, by nature, have the ability to socially 'click'. They are the definitive members of society and probably define all of these rules that bind us to artificial protocol. Extroverts have few problems in social situations. Extroverts do, however have difficulties when it comes to relating to introverts. It's as if a quiet, together person was on a separate stratum of humanity - not a higher stratum, mind you. But out-going social butterflies can't understand how introverts work, and reclusive social cocoons see extroverts as dynamic personalities without the ability to be pensive or even thoughtful.

The struggle lies therein. Though introverts are indeed an integral component of our society, they are often ignored and thrown into the caste of 'the untouchables'. Introverts are never key members of a conversation, never have the timing to make their thoughts known, and seemingly are consequently never involved in the every-day social forum. On the contrary, it's the introvert who finds it difficult to end a conversation.

Excuses can be made that have the flavor: 'they need to make more of an effort to be socially active', but they forget that the very nature of an introvert includes the absence of social activity. It's a lose-lose situation. If, of course, you're keeping some kind of social score.

By not taking part in social activity, an introvert subsequently becomes more and more of an introvert. The argument goes the other way of course. An extrovert that takes part in the social arena for years and years becomes more of an extravert by nature. How can the introvert ever fit in with the extravert without:

(1) Coming off as a fake by trying to be extraverted at the level of those around them that have practiced it for years.

(2) Drawing more unwanted attention than necessary because they are acting "strangely" and out of "character". Although it's the "character" that the extravert's seem to be uncomfortable with.

(3) Getting the comment: "You shouldn't try to be like everyone else. Everyone is different and you'll never be happy until your happy with who you are."

(4) People laughing at you out loud or in most cases laughing in their heads because you completely butchered a joke, talked too long, talked too short, said the wrong thing, or just don't fit in because you don't know how to be like them.

What is an introvert to do with themselves if they are to be successful in this world and socially accepted?